patientlights:

anxiety is terrible, you could be having an attack and no one would even know because it’s an inward thing. it feels like you’re malfunctioning and you can’t process your own thoughts. you get a knot in your stomach and you can’t take a full breath but outwardly you can literally just sit there and look completely normal as long as no one tries to speak to you.

Every bitch out here in a flower crown and some musty ass shorts, takin’ selfies.
—Tyler The Creator, tweeting about Coachella (via alexusl0l)

batreaux:

You bump into a man on the subway wearing a trenchcoat. You apologize and he responds “Its alright. We’re only human. All of us. All of us here are human. Yep. Very human. I’m probably the most human here! You betcha.” and then the trenchcoat falls and the figure collapses and roughly 1000 salamanders scatter around the train 

gothicgrandpaqueen:

you catch a lot of flies with honey, but you catch more honeys being fly

queenrylan:

esotericalesbians:

it breaks my heart knowing that i will never receive a blowjob

what the fuck why do so many people think they will never receive a blowjob

Because we have vaginas

(Source: barfemoji)

Can I call you? I miss the sound of your voice.
—(via do-u-speak-prada)

(Source: whereoursoulmeetsbody)

dutchster:

a guide on how to make me love you
1. buy me food
2. tell me i’m funny
3. tell me i’m hot
4. it’s okay to lie
5. i’m still hungry

Cake Boss in a nutshell…

barebackbearyak:

Customer: I want a nice chocolate cake for my young son, and he likes trucks, so could you maybe do a little frosting picture of a truck on the top?

Cake Boss: SOS WHAT WES GUNNA DO IS MAKE A GIANT TRUCK ENTIRELY OUTTA RICE CRISPIES AND COVA DAT IN FONDANT AND IZ GUNNA SHOOT SPARKS AND CATCH FIYAH, POSSIBLY KILLIN YOUR SON IN DA PROCESS.

captainjaybuscus:

nerdinessboundaries:

candle-lit-fornication:

hazelgranger:

there is not a better feeling than someone playing with your hair

Or running their fingers down your back.

Unless you thought you were alone.

And now, the weather.

(Source: wheazley)